Quick, think of a super confident public speaker. Robbins. Jobs. Any late night TV host. Most of us look at those professionals and wonder how they manage to do it. Whether you’re terrified of public speaking, or maybe even feel somewhat capable, you may admit that you don’t have that level of skill.
But you would love to learn how.
It seems like a mystery, an inherent talent that few possess, and most will never acquire. While it may be true that some people will never conquer their anxiety, could it be that most of us are subconsciously making it harder on ourselves?
Beyond the Spotlight
On-stage confidence is often labeled “stage presence,” a comfortable, sometimes even charming, control of the speaker-to-audience setting. A person with stage presence can draw their audience in, speak effortlessly on any topic, and even make standing in front of people seem fun and easy.
Fun and easy. Until it’s you in the spotlight. How do they do that?!
It’s important to understand that stage presence is not always what it seems. As a member of the audience, we may assume that the comfortable speaker is either a born performer, or a naturally confident person in everyday life.
Generally, however, confident public speaking is more of an inner game than an external performance. In other words, the external performance is a secondary result of the speaker’s mindset. The speaker with stage presence has a mentality focused on serving the message in the best possible way, and the by-product of that mentality is a confident presentation.
The Confidence Paradox
Since most people misunderstand that key mindset concept, they fall victim to the confidence paradox. This is a trap where people try to appear confident, only to bury themselves in anxiety. Why does this happen?
In my experience, there’s 3 reasons:
- The Self-Consciousness Trap
When speakers focus too much on “looking confident,” they become hyper-aware of every move they’re making. This creates tension, making natural movement and speech more difficult. So, the more you try to “act confident,” the more self-conscious you become. The more self-conscious you become, the more anxiety you produce.
- The Authenticity Factor
Audiences are very good at detecting inauthentic behavior. We all know a fake person when we see one. When speakers fail to project a confident persona, it can create a disconnect with the audience. If we see that we’re losing our audience, a fear of failure, and the subsequent anxiety, will shoot through the roof.
- Performance Pressure
Ultimately, trying to maintain an unnatural “confident image” adds an extra layer of mental burden to presentations. This divides the speaker’s attention between the message and managing appearances.
This can lead to more mistakes or awkward moments. It can cause an unnatural presentation that never “feels right.”
That’s why a mentality of serving the message is needed to create confidence. It produces an authentic presence that is superior to a performed confidence.
The Audience Connection Loop
Now don’t get me wrong. There are plenty of people that successfully treat presentations as performances. Stage actors, stand-up comedians, and some professional speakers, memorize their lines and actions to create an entertaining performance. But that’s unnecessarily difficult, and again, rarely authentic.
When a speaker focuses on serving the message, their authentic feelings about their topic will pour out. And when audiences are drawn into a sincere and captivating presentation, they will connect with the speaker.
In fact, research shows that an audience’s brain waves can actually synchronize with the speaker. When this synchronization occurs, the audience can start to unconsciously mirror the speaker, and vice versa.
This is an incredible experience that many speakers call “owning the room,” and audience members call “stage presence.”
Again, it all comes down to genuine engagement based on a mentality to serve the message first. This mindset creates natural authority.
Your Presence Playlist
So how exactly does one “serve the message?” First and foremost, it’s vital to disregard the spotlight. That doesn’t mean to disregard the audience, but it’s important to ignore the eyeballs- at least at the beginning.
You cannot continually audit yourself and how you look onstage while trying to present your message confidently. The time to consider people’s feelings and your poise happens during your preparation and rehearsal.
It’s also helpful to reflect on subjects that you truly love talking about with your friends. How does your tone and demeanor change when talking about Star Wars or politics, sports or celebrities? Can you attach some of that passion to your topic during rehearsal? What will it take to generate that same level of genuine interest in the topic of your presentation?
Presence as Practice
If you want to nurture a powerful stage presence, focus on being well-prepared instead of trying to “look confident.”
Cultivate genuine interest in the topic until you can share it with a conviction that it has real value to the audience.
Remember that stage presence is a skill to develop, not a trait you either have or you don’t.
As an exercise for this week, why not journal your tone and emotions when discussing a topic close to your heart? Ask yourself: “What it would take to attach even a portion of that genuine interest to my next presentation?”
Determination to present an interesting message will create natural stage presence.
